SINGAPORE — Guys, the zombie apocalypse is inevitable, and you know it.
Plus, with the number of films about zombie invasions out there, you can’t say you weren’t warned.
While the good folks in World War Z have the indomitable Brad Pitt on their side, we would have to fight our own way to survival.
Here’s a list of five things we would borrow from the world of film, TV and fiction to defend ourselves against the walking dead.
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THOR’S HAMMER. There’s no guarantee that we can pick it up — unless one of us is Thor. In which case, hello sexy. But if we do manage to wield the hammer, we’re pretty sure we’d be able to crush some pretty zombie skulls.
JANE AUSTEN. If there’s someone who should be annoyed by the presence of zombies, it’s Jane Austen. The monsters have been introduced to her beloved Pride And Prejudice by the audacious Seth Grahame-Smith, and Elizabeth Bennet turned into a — gasp — zombie hunter. If we could bring Austen back to life, we’re guessing she and her army of fans would be more than happy to kick a few zombie butts.
STAR TREK’S USS ENTERPRISE. As the 36 Strategems rightly advise — flee, if all else fails. And how better to run away from a zombie invasion than to hop on the USS Enterprise and shoot to the nearest inhabitable planet at warp speed?
A CHINESE ODYSSEY’S PANDORA’S BOX. If none of the above work, we’ll have to resort to using the Pandora’s Box from Stephen Chow’s A Chinese Odyssey. The box will allow us to travel through time to escape. Even if it doesn’t work, yelling “bo yi bo lor mi” at the moon should be cathartic.
BANE’S MASK. Only because none of us will survive anyway, if this haze gets out of hand.
World War Z is scheduled for release in Singapore on June 20.
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